First Impressions

I've only spent time with Jake on a handful of occasions since he and Alex began their relationship. I grew up with Alex back in Ottawa and have been blessed to call her a friend for almost 26 years now.

When news of Jake's death came to us, one of the first things I did was go and dig out my old journals. In them I still have some of the letters Alex wrote to me while she was at University in K-W and I, in Ottawa.

"You'd love it here, Carly. Conrad Grebel is amazing. I want to tell you about some of the people I've met so far ... Jake (Jacob - the name) is Mennonite. He helped me move in and is coming to pick me up soon to walk me to my studio. Most of the guys are more than willing to do that for you."

That letter was written sometime in the first weeks of September 1995, before they started dating. A sign of things to come. She goes on to write more about him in future letters. You can feel her glowing right off the pages.

I think the first time I met Jake in person was on one of their trips to Ottawa to visit Alex's family. It must have been one of the first times, because I remember Alex telling me how her Mom had made lasagna for supper and he ate every bite, even asking for seconds, despite having problems digesting dairy. Some might say he would have wanted to make a good impression on Alex's parents, but I'm certain his "motives" would have gone even deeper. Knowing how hard Mrs. J would have worked on the meal, he wouldn't have wanted her to feel badly about serving something he couldn't eat.

Although I didn't know him well, he was always warm and welcoming (even when putting this weekend "guest" to work in the yard) and thoughtful. I was most impressed by his way of looking at you when you were speaking, listening deeply, as though what you had to say was more important than anything and everything.

It's clear from the many wonderful stories I've heard over the last couple of weeks that Jake will be deeply missed and equally importantly, lovingly remembered. My prayers and sympathies go out to all of his family, friends and colleagues.